Luke 15: 11-32
Friday, I had one of those annoying moments. Are you all familiar with the wide-mouth ketchup bottle that is designed to rest lid down? You know, the label is even put on upside down.
Well, I grabbed the one at home. And it was so annoying. It hadn’t been left upside down, cap down. So I had to bang it with my palm and shake the ketchup down so that I could get it out.
So annoying. Someone had.... Then I remembered. I live alone. I had left it cap up which was wrong side up. Me. I had no one to blame but myself. That’s the thing about living alone. You have no one to blame but yourself.
And, you know, that’s the thing about living with maturity and grace. You are responsible for yourself. For your own well-being, happiness and growth.
I think that the younger son in today’s familiar gospel is coming to terms with this reality. He “came to himself”. We would say “he came to his senses.” He realizes he has cut himself from family and home. He has messed up his life. He spent more than he either earned or saved. His vocational plans were almost non-existent.
He wants to change.
He wants to go home.
He needs a bridge to get there as he has cut himself off.
He makes a plan,
“I’ll get up and go to my father, and I’ll say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son: treat me like one of your hired hands.'”
Telling Dad that he wanted his inheritance was a big cultural no-no.
In Ecclesiasticus, or the Wisdom of Sirach, it is written:
To son or wife, to brother or friend, do not give power over yourself, as long as you live; and do not give your property to another, in case you change your mind and must ask for it. While you are still alive and have breath in you, do not let anyone take your place. For it is better that your children should ask from you than that you should look to the hand of your children. [33: 20-23]
That was the conventional wisdom of the time.
Of course, we see things a little differently today. We plan ahead and ask a family member to hold a durable power of attorney or we write a living will. We ask our loved ones to stand ready to act for us if we can’t speak for ourselves in a medical emergency. It is not uncommon to have an elderly parent and grown child share a checking account.
But look at what else was happening as the younger son asked for his inheritance. He was in effect saying that his Father was dead to him.
Give me the money.
I don’t want to wait.
I don’t want part of the family business.
I don’t want to risk that it may go belly up.
I don’t want to toil and build it up.
In addition, to saying that his Father, his past and his roots meant less than a bag of money; the younger son is also saying he has no future within that family group. He has rejected both his own past and his own future. He is cut off.
Now, he has come to himself. Now he realizes that living in the moment didn’t last. Didn’t carry weight or substance. Have meaning. Purpose. Value. All the things we want for our own lives.
Maybe you know someone in your family that is cut off from the other members. These cut offs tumble down through the generations and have much more power than one might suspect.
One of the ten commandments is familiar to us: “honor your father and your mother.” But there’s more. Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the and that the Lord your God is giving you. Ending family cut offs may be good for us and for our children and our grandchildren.
So consider how family members may be estranged and cut off. Sometimes cut offs are just stupid. Three sisters didn’t speak to each other for 6 years. No one seemed to know why. One day they spoke to each other, the next they didn’t. And then years later, they spoke again. I heard some speculation about a pinochle game.
Sometimes cut offs happen because someone is truly toxic or physically threatening. The distance may be necessary. Prayer may be the best and only thing to do.
Intimacy is hard to manage. We all need some space in our relationships, even in a marriage, to be our own person. It can be hard being separate enough so that a “separation” is not necessary.
Sometimes we can be cut off from our own growth. From new ideas or new people. Perhaps we should extend the adage... Three things in life are guaranteed. Death. Taxes. And change.
St. Paul writes at length to the church in Corinth about the ministry of reconciliation. About mending and extending fences. About bridge building. He says the old has passed away; there is a new creation. We are ambassadors in that new creation. For that new creation.
Doesn’t the father in this parable act like an ambassador? He stands looking down the road and while his son is still far off, he runs/ RUNS to embrace him. Can you picture it? This man of property, who commands hired hands and slaves, takes off with his robes flapping and his sandals slapping on the dusty road. He lives in a culture that is all about saving face. Here he is acting imprudently. And yes, there is an audience. Slaves. Field hands. His wife? Daughters?
He doesn’t need the son’s rehearsed speech. His son is home and he wants to share his joy. He orders up a party. He sends some slaves to get a robe, a ring, sandals. Others he details to kill a fatted pig and prepare a feast.
And what happens? The elder son gets in a snit. Now he doesn’t demand his inheritance and leave home. But he begins to emotionally withdraw. To cut himself off from his father, his brother, his family.
But once again... The father seeks him out too. He reassures his elder son that he too is loved. And he reestablishes the family order by stopping the spin and by not letting himself be drawn into a triangle with his two sons. What does he say? ...this brother of yours.. This is a father’s reminder that family matters, family counts.
Most of us are probably more ready to stand at a distance demanding a show of affection or attention than we are to chuck everything overboard and move to New Mexico for a fresh start.
Perhaps, we can look for those momentary, little cut offs which threaten intimacy and relationships. Those times when we seem to channel the elder brother within us may not be our best moments.
We want to look for the little cut offs because left unattended they can pile up and get frozen in place. Seemingly immovable. This sometimes happens in marriages. We talk about the “spark” dying.
It would be best to think of these “cut offs” as if they were like a granny knot in your knitting or a back lash in your fishing line. You can’t just pull one end. Neither can you pull both. More tension doesn’t help. You have to look at the mess and tease one line a bit to get some give...some play. Humor, rather than a more earnest approach, will work best.
Here’s the good news.
I have spoken before about how I think this parable has been poorly named in the past. We have called it the “parable of the prodigal son.” And we have made value judgements about the wasteful, wanton lifestyle of the younger son.
My suggestion has been to call it the “parable of the prodigal father” as it is the father who is extravagant and lavish with his affection. For me, the father’s compassion is the heart of the story. Both sons have been willful and disrespectful. Yet, the father goes out to both of them. They are cut off and stuck. The father offers them love. This offering makes him look foolish. He doesn’t seem to care or count the cost to himself. Jesus is saying that God acts this way.
This week, I read that Dr. Sharon Ringe, Professor of New Testament at Wesley Theological Seminary, is calling this parable the “Parable of Two Beloved Sons”. She suggests that if the father is God, then we are identified as the two brothers. Both brothers/ both sons, from different perspectives, see the same thing: A Father’s Love. For both sons it is a win-win situation.
For us it is good news. A reminder that God loves us. And seeks us. And abides with us always.
In Christ, God is reconciling us to God. In Christ, God is ending the cut off between humanity and divinity.
AMEN.
